I posted the following essay at Babalú for our 9/11 remembrance there. A friend emailed me saying that I should post it at my blog too; that he really liked it. I was planning to only post my tribute to WTC victim Mary D. Stanley as part of the 2,996 project. But at his suggestion, I'm cross-posting my 9/11 remembrance here as well.
by La Ventanita
It was Tuesday and I was late for work. As usual, I had the Today Show going on in the background - something about a Cessna crashing into one of the WTC towers. Not the start of a good week - yesterday I had found my ex was with someone else - and it was about to get worse.
Settling into my open cube at the office the phone rings. A woman's worst fear. My ob-gyn was calling to tell me my Pap was irregular and I needed to have a biopsy. I break down and start to cry. I'm only 31. At the same time I read as my friend tells me through messenger that another plane hit the other tower. What?
"We're under attack!" Someone yells at the office.
I run to the kitchen, where the TV was on and the entire company was watching. I gasp. I make it just in time to see the first tower fall. I can't believe what I'm seeing. My eyes well up and I get goosebumps, as I realize that I'm watching people die. I'm in shock, and can't believe when the second tower goes down. I thought it was a replay of the first tower.
"This is war," I hear some say as I leave the area. Like Ziva, I expected big mobilizations after this. Strong retaliation, a show of force and power, and a country UNITED to face these bastards.
I spent the day in a daze, as much of my co-workers did. No one knew what to do, but call friends and family to see how everyone was doing emotionally. No one really worked that day - how could you? One of my printing suppliers came by with an impromptu printed USA Flag. I didn't want to be alone, so I went to a friends house, where I watched non-stop news coverage of the attack. I almost vomited when I saw the Arabs celebrating. I had never felt so much hate.
9/11 changed me forever in many ways. I am know prejudiced against anyone resembling a middle eastern physique...and I hate it. I don't like stereotyping people or being prejudiced, but I now find myself suspecting everyone. If I see an Arab anywhere, I will wonder what he/she is up to, when before I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I wonder every time I get into a plane if I will make it home, or if some terrorist bastard will take me away from my family. As I write this, I am again crying.
As a nation we should've united against this threat, and all I see are people defending and appeasing Islamofascists. This weekend I took my husband to a Roger Waters concert as an anniversary gift, and felt more like I was being indoctrinated pro-Arab, pro-Palestine, pro-Hezbollah, anti-USA, anti-Bush and Blair, anti-Israel. And people just sat there, and sometimes even cheered. Their hatred of W more than their love for their country and their way of life; not realizing they are SUPPORTING people that are AGAINST the very values they hold so dear - FREEDOM OF SPEECH and SEPARATION OF CHURCH & STATE.
I don't know where we as a nation will end up. I fear we have not learned our lesson, we have not realized what we are against. These people will not give up, even if we decided to live in a bubble and disassociate from the rest of the world. They will not stop until they create a Muslim world.
My biggest fear? That it will not be until we are hit harder and deeper that this nation will come together, will put aside their differences and will learn that a UNITED front is the only way Islamofascists can be defeated. In the end, I know we will win. What I don't know is the toll that will get us there.
Every time I go to NYC, I cry. There is a big gaping hole in the skyline, and there is a big gaping hole in our nation and in our hearts.
I will never forget the 2,996 WTC victims, the 184 victims of the Pentagon attack and the heroes of United Flight 93. Will you?
Tags: 9/11, World Trade Center, USA, Terrorist Attack, Flight 93, Pentagon, America, War