Musing about Papi

As many of you know, Papi passed away last fall. It has been tough trying to keep it together, teach, study, be a wife - while at the same time deal with the death of Papi. Sometimes I still can't believe he is dead. Some Friday nights, I still take the cellphone to the nightstand, 'cause Papi might call in the morning. And then I remember, he will not call.

It's hard talking about him like he is no longer with us. It's very hard to talk about him in a past tense. At times I bite my tongue, when I find that I want to ask Mami if Papi called her last week. They say the hardest part of dealing with death is accepting it; moving beyond the denial stage. This process, it seems, will take a while.

The only silver lining of this process is that I get to go through ALL his stuff. Everything. Nothing. Goes. Without. My. Approval. And in doing so, it's like I get to live Papi's life; as if he were taking me on a trip through time and space and making me participate in a part of his life when I didn't know him, when I didn't exist, when he wasn't even married.

Click on the pictures for a better view.

I've gotten to meet my granfather whom I never knew, and who wouldn't you know it, was a pretty good looking guy.

I've gotten to know how much Papi paid for his business in Cuba when he bought it. With every paper, and every document and every picture, I get to know Papi more intimately every single time.

I've gotten to meet a great uncle that was a priest. I can show you that American Football was played in Cuba and that it was a racially integrated sport.

So what's my favorite picture so far?




Him and his employees in what I believe to be Wall Street.






As soon as I get my energy up again, I'll post some more pictures. Including some Albert sent me, that we think might be Wall Street today.